Christians and Divorce

Part 1: A Personal Journey and Reflection


A Journey Through Divorce: Grief, Anger, Depression and Loneliness

Reality Check: The Impact of Divorce

The Best Way


The Fear of Being Single

For Those Who Have Remarried


Part 2:

Is There a Biblical Right To Divorce and Remarry?


It is probably true to say most people marry with the intention to stay together for life. I never thought I would end up divorced, but did and the statistics tell us that now in the western world about half of all marriages end in divorce. The impact of divorce is immense, not only for the couple but on their children and family.

Divorce is a subject which arouses intense emotions and debate. It is difficult to objectively to talk about and examine the subject of divorce because it carries such a great weight of sorrow, loss, pain, anger, remorse and perhaps guilt. We know this for many of us know of a family member or a friend who has been divorced. You may have experienced divorce yourself, as I have. Maybe you are deeply unhappy in your marriage and contemplating divorce as the only way out. Perhaps you are separated but not formally divorced or in fact divorced and remarried.

If you have been divorced, you will know it to be one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences one can endure. It’s impact is deeper than any other relational crisis. The emotional pain can be like the death of your spouse and for some it is worse.

If you are not divorced I hope what you read here will encourage you stay faithful to your marriage despite whatever difficulties you may encounter. Separation may be warranted (as Paul indicates in 1 Corinthians 7:11) where there is physical or psychological abuse to yourself or your children but I would encourage you to remain faithful, hope for repentance and work for reconciliation- see abusive situations There is much more at stake than our own happiness as I hope to explain. God’s grace, strength and peace are sufficient even in what may seem a hopeless situation. That I can say from personal experience.

Ten years before our divorce there was, seemingly, an epidemic of divorces within our church family – not for adultery or desertion – but just that the couples had ceased to love one another and then found someone else who they thought was more suitable or loving. The elders of our church hadn’t specifically taught on the subject of divorce and remarriage so I undertook a long study on the subject – first from the Bible and then what others had written on the subject. This led me to the understanding expressed in this website. I then found myself in the situation of having to live by what I believed the Scriptures taught me. So what you will read here has been born out of life experience, not just theology. It is in two parts: 1. the personal journey through divorce and 2. a Biblical examination of the question ‘Is there a right to divorce and remarry?’

If you are considering divorce, separated or divorced it is my hope you will gain a clearer, deeper perspective and avoid the snares which often accompany divorce so that you might not only avoid or survive divorce but find God’s love and peace in greater measure. By God’s grace you may even find reconciliation with your husband or wife as I did after an intervening period of many years.

Peter Miles May 2020


A Journey Through Divorce: Grief, Anger, Depression and Loneliness


My sincere thanks to Derek Stancombe, David Fleming, Andrew Cornes and John Staer for their encouragement, constructive criticism and invaluable comments.

Unless otherwise indicated Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright
1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by
permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright; 2001
by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Photo Credit: Andrew Brown
In the aftermath of a Western Australian bushfire new life grows, symbolising that out of the trauma of divorce there is hope and life in Christ.